On my FB page, there is a photo album titled “Men of God Who Helped Shape My Life”. One of those men was Tony Ling, who went to be with the Lord today after a long bout with cancer. This is the story of one of two encounters with Tony that changed everything for me.
Read MoreI started this blog as a journal of my experiences walking through my diagnosis of metastatic melanoma in 2019. In five days, it will have been a year since my initial diagnosis with terminal cancer. It turned out that my cancer was not terminal for me. I am cancer-free by the grace and power of God through the prayers if His people. I am grateful to be alive, well, and engaging in work that is fruitful and meaningful to me.
Read MoreI went for a short walk Tuesday, and a lamb was walking down the middle of the street. Yep, a lamb – a little baby one. I live in Memphis. We don’t have sheep here. Some of my neighbors keep chickens, but no lambs. This one had no collar (do you put collars on lambs?), and no markings. Because there are lots of stray dogs in my neighborhood, I “shepherded” the lamb to the nearby schoolyard and called animal services. They came and got it and took it to safety.
I rescued a lamb two days before Passover. It must be a sign.
Read MoreIt has been a long time since my last post. I would apologize, except I really haven’t been clear enough about … well, about almost anything. And my head is just starting to form legible thoughts. So maybe you should thank me for not writing until now. :-)
Read MoreYesterday was Christmas. We did the big family thing the night before. I won’t tell you all that we ate and drank, but it was a full-on celebration. We celebrated the birth of Jesus – God’s amazing demonstration of love …
Read MoreMy CT scan was at 2:00, but I didn’t see the doctor until well after 4:00. And it was all about the report. I thought I was prepared, but I wasn’t. I had braced myself for either, “Cancer is dead”, or “Cancer has spread.”…
Read MoreNo pictures, and just a super short entry. Tomorrow I go for my quarterly CT scans and doctor’s appointment. The news will either be that the cancer is still there, or that all of the tumors are gone. The scans will show that it has either spread, or that it is dead.
I am so grateful for the prayers of many who have pestered God on my behalf. I am asking that you pray today…
Read MoreI was godlier when all the news was bad and when the doctors offered little or no hope. I was ready to die or live – ready to follow him through whatever darkness might come. I am being healed, and doctors are confirming it. And now I am impatient, frustrated, a flicker of light. Yet He is still here. He is still consistant. He is still faithful.
Next Tuesday (December 10) is scan day. It is also my 12-year work anniversary. It is a few days after my 63rd birthday. It is 3 weeks until the end of the decade and the beginning of a new one.
Read MoreThe consult was a little confusing. My doctor said that I could start treatment again, or I could choose not to. The decision was mine, and he didn’t think one choice was better than the other. He started to make a case for taking another treatment, but then said that since it has been more than 2-1/2 months since my last treatment and since we are only 4 weeks away…
Read MoreTuesday, I was still riding high from my previous two visits. When my nurse practitioner came in, she commented that I didn’t look like I was dressed for an infusion. I wasn’t. I fully expected an exam, and more good news. Good news would be “You are doing great. We won’t be giving you more treatments until we see that you need them!” But that is not what I heard on Tuesday. Instead, it was a discussion about when I would start taking treatments again.
Read MoreLast week Clay dropped by. We bought our house from Clay. He owns several houses in the neighborhood, and often drives by. If I am on the porch, he will stop and sit a while and have a beer with me. We usually talk about the neighborhood, which he loves like I do. But last week Clay pulled into my driveway, and came and knocked on my door. That was a first. When I opened the door, the first words out of his mouth were, “I saw some stuff on Facebook. Are you really ok? Are you really getting better? I had to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”
Read MoreThe real data is that 60% of people given this treatment do not respond at all. Of the 40% who respond positively, some reach NED (no evidence of disease), but most live with the cancer and a life expectancy of around 24 months. That number goes down significantly if the cancer has spread to the brain. Mine had. They would try SRS radiation on those tumors, and that could make a difference. But everything is so new that there is really no data to show what my chances were.
That was 92 days ago.
Read MoreToday is my last day on steroids, and I understand why you can’t stay on them forever. I am getting a bit edgy. My work partner, Kristy, has graciously noted that I seem “a little less tolerant than usual” (a huge under-statement). Yesterday a co-worker and I had a passing conversation in the men’s room. Alvin is the nicest guy in the office…
Read MoreMy doctor, who we really like, was extremely elated. The results were beyond his wildest expectations. He had been hesitant to order the CT this early because usually it takes a while for immunotherapy to show positive results. He had even warned us that early CT scans often show an increase in the cancer before the immune system really kicks in. He was surprised -
Read MoreThe hardest thing about all this for me is that regardless of my situation, all this cancer stuff is running in the background of my mind. In a business meeting, at a party, with friends for dinner, by myself, feeling bad, feeling good…cancer and all that goes with it is a relentless issue waiting for any opportunity to ooze into my psyche. I don’t think about dying. It is the treatment that encompasses my thinking.
Read MoreI saw my oncologist before my treatment. He confirmed that the reactions I had after the previous 2 treatments were reactions to the drugs and not symptoms of cancer. He also said that I am his only patient who has EVER had these kinds of reactions to these typically benign drugs. The good news is that I am still asymptomatic – definitely a product of God hearing the prayers of many and acting on my behalf. Doctor P prescribed some pre-meds, Tylenol and Benedryl, to be dripped in prior to the immunotherapy drugs. After Treatment 2, I got sick within 2 hours. This time I felt good for next 9 hours. Around bedtime I started feeling crummy. No fevers. No night sweats. Just muscle and joint aches and a mild headache.
Read MoreI am generally a morning person. It is Saturday. It is 5am. And I feel terrific!
A few weeks ago, when I was wrestling with life-in-limbo – the pull between wrapping things up and getting on with life – I asked God to give me a dream that would help me understand what direction things are headed for me. If I am dying, I wanted to dream about heaven and where I am headed. If I am being healed, I wanted a dream about life in the future and what that may look like.
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Just a quick note to say that today has been an exceptionally good day. I had a good night sleep last night. I was up at 5:45 AM feeling good. I spent the majority of the day in the office being somewhat productive. And I have had virtually no side effects all day.
I am convinced that this good day is a product of the prayers of many people. God hears and God answers. I am grateful.
I occasionally have down days, and yesterday was certainly one. It helps me to process by writing. Last night and this morning I received many texts, emails and comments. I’m coming to understand how God uses community in the healing process. More on that later.
For now, I feel good. I feel grateful. And I’m looking forward to a good nights sleep! Thank you for praying!
I’m sitting on my front porch in the early evening after a summer rain. The ceiling fan keeping the mosquitos off. It’s just me and my dog…and the hummingbirds.
I put up a couple of feeders this year, and we now have several hummers who come scores of times each day. I could watch these little birds for hours. I don’t know why I find them so fascinating, but I do. They are nervous little guys, almost as much bug as bird, twitchy, darting here and there.
Read MoreAn old friend who lives in east Tennessee came to see me. We had a great time catching up over lunch, and then driving around our old neighborhoods. It has been 45 years since he lived in Memphis, so we drove by places that held memories for both of us. Finally, I drove him around where I live now. I pointed out my neighbors’ homes and shared endearing stories about each one. I love my neighbors.
As we circled the block to head back to my office, we came upon a woman walking down the middle of the street. She is a familiar sight for those of us who live in my community.
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